Madonna
current VILLAGE IDIOT
Jessica Simpson
6 March 2010
Jessica talks sex. Miss Simpson has hit back at ex-boyfriend John Mayer's talk about her bedroom behaviour saying sex with Jessica was "like crack cocaine" and "sexual napalm" in a Playboy interview. Jessica has since been on Oprah complaining about John's interview saying "I don't want people to know how I am in bed." Sexual napalm - does that mean there's a burning sensation afterwards?
current MONTHLY MORON
more BLONDE MOMENTS
4 March 2010
After failing dismally at promoting beer, Paris' new advert for Devassa beer has been removed from Brazilian TV after complaints that the advert "devalues woman, particularly blondes”. The advert shows porn star Paris rubbing a can of beer over herself while being watched by a peeping tom. After a long hard day at work it's nice to sit down to a cold refreshing... why does my beer taste like a whore's crotch?
Madonna
27 February 2010 Idiot Status -
Madonna's music man. The truth behind their relationship has finally been revealed with Madonna's toy boy, Jesus Luz, signing a record deal with Madonna's ex label, Warner. In order to secure more good loving Madonna had to give permission for her back catalogue of music to be used in adverts. The first single entitled "We Came From Light" will be released early May. You mean he's been waving his pecker around her all this time for fame and fortune - who would have guessed?
26 February 2010
Autopsy results have confirmed that Brittany was not a drug addict and instead died of a mixture of over the counter cold & flu medication. Her death has been ruled accidental.
Paris Hilton
20 February 2010 Idiot Status -
Paris pissed. Pay-per-view Paris spent last weekend like pretty much all other weekends on stage on all fours with her underwear displayed to the world. Pseudo celeb Paris was in Brazil to promote a new beer but ended up completely wasted and resorted to her old antics of public humiliation, not that you can be humiliated when you have no self respect. The good news is she's finally figured out underwear. The bad news is it's not nearly strong enough to protect the world from what lies beneath.
Heidi Klum
13 February 2010 Idiot Status -
Not so happy Valentines day. Unable to spend Valentines day with hubby Seal due to filming of 'Project Runway', Heidi has opted to give her man a "fun box" in lieu of her presence/pleasure. Heidi said "I'm making a very fun box of heart things. Kind of like an explosion of things; confetti hearts with cute underwear and chocolates. It's a fun surprise box for him." With a swimsuit model as your wife I'm sure there aren't too many boxes nearly as fun. I bet she left some lube and tissue's too - Happy Valentines day, go fuck yourself.
celebrity QUOTES
Paris Hilton
Jessica Simpson
Shakira
More: Celebrity Quotes
dumb BLONDE JOKES
Q: Why do Blondes drive cars with sunroofs?
A: More leg room.
A young Blonde executive was leaving the office one evening when she noticed the CEO standing in front of the shredder with a piece of paper in his hand. "Listen," said the CEO, "this is important, and my assistant has left for the day. Can you make this thing work?" "Certainly," she replies, flattered that the CEO had asked her for help. She turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the START button. "Excellent!" replied the CEO, "I'll need two copies."
Q: Why do Blondes cross the street?
A: To catch the air.
