Scarlett Johansson
current VILLAGE IDIOT
Madonna
13 March 2010
Madonna mediating marriages? Twice divorced Madonna appeared on the new TV show 'The Marriage Ref' to dish out her views on marriage. The show requires celebrity guest to decide on on all important topics like whether or not a husband can put a stripper pole in the bedroom. Madonna as a guest - is this show sponsored by a divorce attorney by any chance? I hear Madonna still received her usual appearance fee of a small African child but with built in child support, just in case.
current MONTHLY MORON
more BLONDE MOMENTS
Jessica Simpson
6 March 2010 Idiot Status -
Jessica talks sex. Miss Simpson has hit back at ex-boyfriend John Mayer's talk about her bedroom behaviour saying sex with Jessica was "like crack cocaine" and "sexual napalm" in a Playboy interview. Jessica has since been on Oprah complaining about John's interview saying "I don't want people to know how I am in bed." Sexual napalm - does that mean there's a burning sensation afterwards?
4 March 2010
After failing dismally at promoting beer, Paris' new advert for Devassa beer has been removed from Brazilian TV after complaints that the advert "devalues woman, particularly blondes”. The advert shows porn star Paris rubbing a can of beer over herself while being watched by a peeping tom. After a long hard day at work it's nice to sit down to a cold refreshing... why does my beer taste like a whore's crotch?
Madonna
27 February 2010 Idiot Status -
Madonna's music man. The truth behind their relationship has finally been revealed with Madonna's toy boy, Jesus Luz, signing a record deal with Madonna's ex label, Warner. In order to secure more good loving Madonna had to give permission for her back catalogue of music to be used in adverts. The first single entitled "We Came From Light" will be released early May. You mean he's been waving his pecker around her all this time for fame and fortune - who would have guessed?
26 February 2010
Autopsy results have confirmed that Brittany was not a drug addict and instead died of a mixture of over the counter cold & flu medication. Her death has been ruled accidental.
Paris Hilton
20 February 2010 Idiot Status -
Paris pissed. Pay-per-view Paris spent last weekend like pretty much all other weekends on stage on all fours with her underwear displayed to the world. Pseudo celeb Paris was in Brazil to promote a new beer but ended up completely wasted and resorted to her old antics of public humiliation, not that you can be humiliated when you have no self respect. The good news is she's finally figured out underwear. The bad news is it's not nearly strong enough to protect the world from what lies beneath.
celebrity QUOTES
Justin Timberlake
Christina Aguilera
Charlize Theron
More: Celebrity Quotes
dumb BLONDE JOKES
Q: Why do Blondes take the pill?
A: So they know what day of the week it is.
Male Secretary: "Feel free to use my dictaphone."
New Blonde Employee: "No thanks, I'll just use my finger like everyone else."
A Blonde received an assignment from her special ed. science teacher. The assignment was what will happen after you pull all of the legs off of a grasshopper. So the Blonde says "jump grasshopper jump" And the grasshopper jumped. So she pulled off one leg and said "jump grasshopper jump" And the grasshopper jumped. So she does this until she got down to the last leg. So she pulled it off. Then she said "jump grasshopper jump" And the grasshopper didn't jump. So she wrote down on her piece of paper "They lose their hearing."
More: Dumb Blonde Jokes