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10 March 2001 Idiot Status -

Most people accept that a sofa is a sofa, but not Madonna and new husband Guy Ritchie. Apparently while furniture shopping in LA the couple tested each sofa they saw by cuddling and kissing on it to make sure that they would be happy with the one they bought. Kissing and cuddling just to test it out ? Hey I was thinking of going out and buying a new bed, any lingerie models out there wanna join me ? I guess there aren't to many 'Virgin' sofas around LA now that Madonna has had a go on all of them.

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7 April 2001 Idiot Status -

It seems that poor Madonna was a bit disappointed when she didn't receive a bachelorette party before marrying Guy Ritchie. However, good friend Gwyneth Paltrow and Debi Mazar decided that she really needed one and organized one with male strippers, porn movies and of course sex toys. Disappointed ? You would think that a women with her reputation would know what happens, but I suppose those extra goodies could come in handy. I wonder if guests had to check their sex toys on a list to make sure she didn't get anything she may already have.

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21 April 2001 Idiot Status -

According to reports Madonna was ecstatic when new hubby, Guy, gave her the keys to a brand new BMW. She was so happy that she ordered a $40 000 Rolex for him, but when she found out that he had been given the car she changed the order to a $5 000 stainless-steel version. Maybe if she kept the original order, Guy could have sold it to buy her a car and she in return could buy him a watch which he could sell to get his money back to buy the original watch ... oh well. Oh no, I feel a song coming "... I'm a material girl ..."

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26 May 2001 Idiot Status -

I always wondered why Madonna had so many people around her where ever she goes, but I finally figured it out. Apparently she bought 12 silver ear pieces studded with diamonds to give to her friends. Each of them cost $2000. $2000 for something that ends up in your ear ? Who in their right mind would waste that kinda money on an ear piece ? I thought celebrities were supposed to spend their 'Well earned' cash on charities and stuff like that, but ear pieces ? I guess she's just "... a material girl ..."

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28 July 2001 Idiot Status -

Apparently Madonna is pretty strict about her eating habits, so strict that she even has it written in her contract that not even her daughter, Lourdes, is allowed any Pop-tarts during her next tour. What no Pop-tarts ? Why is it when one women in the family is on a diet everyone else has to suffer ? Let just hope Lourdes hasn't learnt to throw temper tantrums like mommy dearest.

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15 September 2001 Idiot Status -

According to reports, loving mother Madonna loves to brag about how she has never changed a diaper once. It seems that she has hired help do the Dirty Work. Don't you just hate those Stink'n rich people ? I wouldn't be surprised if they used $100 notes to wipe their asses. I tried wiping my ass with money once, but the Quarters kept getting stuck in my ass.

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13 October 2001 Idiot Status -

If you thought Madonna was spoiled, then you would probably be right. According to reports Madonna always drinks a designer Vodka called 'Seriously' after each concert. Apparently the other stuff is for wardrobe people. Well, Excuuussse Me ! I never knew there was a proper way to get wasted after a show, I must be a Virgin in the 'Lets get wasted' department. But hell, with her experience she could probably teach a Sailor a thing or two.

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8 December 2001 Idiot Status -

It seems that Madonna feel's there is no better way to relax than to listen to teeny poper Britney and make up naughty lyrics and have a sing along. You know Madonna, I couldn't agree more, which is kinda scary with you being a Blonde. Just think of all the possibilities like, " Oops, I faked again, I made you believe your good in bed but your not ..."

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2 March 2002 Idiot Status -

Apparently business has been slow for certain stores in Hollywood since Madonna got married to current hubby, Guy Ritchie. Apparently Madonna used to be a regular at one store and was often seen purchasing various items including Handcuffs. I wonder why she used to buy handcuffs ? Maybe they were for ex-hubby Sean Penn, all those run-ins with the law must have created a fetish. I wonder if new hubby, Guy, enjoys the Handcuffs ?

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30 March 2002 Idiot Status -

A lot can happen in a year, apparently Madonna was thinking of doing a duet with Britney Spears a year ago but since then has stayed as far away from Britney as, well, Justin Timberlake. According to reports Madonna has told her people to tell Britney's people that she is too busy. Brrrr, feel that ? The cold shoulder. Maybe Madonna is just upset, I know it's been a whole year but there's still hope for the two of them. I mean just think of the possibilities, they could sing "... she's a Virgin touched by an N*Sync boy ..."

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