Weekend Daze
Two Blondes living together decided to save some money and decided to re-side their house themselves. So they went out and bought all the equipment and started. The one Blonde handed the other the plank which she then attached with some nail's. However while watching the one Blonde nailing the board's in, the other noticed that when ever she pulled a nail out of the bag she would look at it and would some time's throw one over her shoulder. So she asked her friend what she was doing, so her friend said "If I pull a nail out of the bag and it's facing me I throw it away because it's defective." "It's not defective." said the other Blonde "it's for the other side of the house."
Three Blondes were walking down a beach. They found a lamp, and decided to see what would happen if they rubbed it. So when they rubbed it "POOF" out popped a genie. He said that he would grant them any wish they wanted. The first Blonde said "OK" I want to be 10 times smarter. "POOF" she was turned into a Brunette. The second girl said well I want to be 10 times smarter than that. "POOF" she was turned into a Red-head. The third Blonde said well I kinda like being stupid so I want to be 10 times stupider. The genie had to think about this one for a long time, because he was never asked to do such a thing before. But after 30 minutes he said "Ahha, I got it" "POOF" he turned her into a man.
There were a Blonde, a Brunette, and a Red-head. They have been out in the woods starving for days. One day the Brunette goes hunting and comes back with a tweetie bird. She says "I follow the tracks, I hunt, I kill." Then the Red-head goes out and comes back with a rabbit. She says "I follow the tracks, I hunt, I kill. "Then the Blonde goes out and it's been a couple of days and she comes back all brusied. And says "I follow the tracks, I hunt, I get hit by the train."
Q: What do you call a Blonde holding a balloon?
A: Siamese twins.
Q: Why do Blonde woman use electric lawnmower's?
A: So they can use the cord to find ther way back.
Q: Why aren't there many Blonde gymnasts?
A: Because when they do the splits, they stick to the floor.
Q: What's a Blondes favorite rock group?
A: Air Supply.
Q: Why did the Blonde climb the glass wall?
A: To see what was on the other side.
Q: What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty?
A: A Blonde parade.
Q: Did you hear about the Blonde who went hot air ballooning?
A: She stepped to close to the campfire.
Q: How many Blondes does it take to play tag?
A: One.
One day a Blonde decides she is going to go ice-fishing and head's off to the nearest frozen lake. Once she found a nice spot she began to cut a hole in the ice when from the sky she heard "THERE ARE NO FISH THERE!" So she got her stuff and moved to a new spot and again tried to cut a hole in the ice when again she hears "THERE ARE NO FISH THERE!" So she move's again and as she is about to cut she hears "THERE ARE NO FISH THERE!" The Blonde look's up and say's "Is that you Lord?" "NO! This is the ice rink manager."
There were two Brunettes and a Blonde on a deserted desert and they found a lamp, so they rubbed it and a genie appeared and he said he would grant them three wishes. So the first Brunette said she would like to be home with her family, so boom she was there. The next Brunette said that, that sounded pretty good, so boom she was there. Then the Blonde gets her wish and she says "It's getting kind of lonely, I wish those girls were back here with me."
Two Blondes went shopping for a Christmas tree. They started early in the morning and looked at trees all day until nightfall. It was getting late, so the first Blonde said to the second Blonde, "You know, I think it's time we go home, we can't find any good trees." The second one says, "Yeah I think so, too. I think we should take home the next tree we find whether it has lights on it or not."
One day two Blondes go duck hunting. Neither of them had been duck hunting before and after several hour's they had caught nothing. The one Blonde looked at the other and said "I just don't understand it, Why haven't we caught anything yet?" Her friend answered "Maybe we're not throwing the dog high enough."
Q: How do you know a Blonde did your landscaping?
A: The bushes are darker than the rest of the yard.
Q: How can you tell a Blonde is dating?
A: By the buckle print on her forehead.
Q: What do you call a Blonde skeleton in a closet?
A: Last year's hide and seek champ.
Q: How did the Blonde die ice fishing?
A: She was run over by the Zamboni.
I told my Blonde girlfriend that I was going skeet shooting, she told me she didn't know how to cook them.
